wow. i'm 4 days shy of 2 months without blogging. if i'm not careful, i might get kicked out of blogdom. Hmmm. i suppose going to grad school and moving house are enough to keep one occupied for awhile. so, i've been living in Orillia for almost 3weeks now and it already feels like a lifetime! ha. i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. the move went well, as did the "end of term" drama that consisted of 3 papers due in one week...except the prof extended the deadline on the last one so I officially finished my term on Dec 6. My next deadline is Jan 8 - for my research proposal. So i'm working on that in dribs and drabs, but won't get too stressed about it until after the new year.
with no school and no work, you may wonder what i've been up to these past couple of weeks in orillia? well, besides the usual unpacking, sorting, resorting, and hanging of things on walls....i've also been going for a nice long walk almost every day, have been working on some things for christmas (uber-time consuming!), and as per usual, have been spending lots of time in the kitchen....which brings me to today's post. i have found a truly amazingly delicious salad dressing recipe, and i just had to share.
It's called Jana's Famous Herb Dressing (from How it all Vegan, p. 77).
1/4 flax or hemp oil
4 tbsp nutritional yeast flakes (or parmesan cheese for non vegans)
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tsp pepper
2 tbsp maple syrup
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp fresh thyme, chopped (I used 2 tsp dried thyme)
2 tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped (I used 2 tsp dried rosemary)
1 tsp fresh oregano, diced (I used 1/2 tsp dried oregano)
1 tbsp sesame seeds (I used 2 tsp)
Whisk together in a bowl, or put ingredients in a jar and shake it up.
Presto!!! A very yummy salad dressing. The recipe book also says you can use it as a topping for rice, but I haven't tried that yet.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Pumpkin Bread (and procrastination)
Two of my favourite activities are baking, and procrastinating....and what better time to combine both activities than when you have a paper due?! You can all rest easy, the paper is as done as it's ever going to be, so now I have time to post a recipe to help YOU all procrastinate too :) For all those who think vegan cooking/baking is boring, let me introduce you to my favourite recipe for...
Pumpkin Bread, from “the complete vegan kitchen” by Jannequin Bennett (p. 259) This is how it turns out, and it is SOOOO yummy! I still have a few slices left if anyone wants to come by for a visit. PS. The plate it's resting on was made by yours truly!
You need a blender/food processor, a sifter, and a loaf pan to make this recipe.
2 Tbsp Flaxseeds
1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree (you can use mashed sweet potato instead)
½ cup apple sauce (unsweetened)
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup whole wheat flour (I just used ALL whole wheat flour and it turned out fine)
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ ground cloves
(you can replace the last 3 spices with 2 tsp of pumpkin pie spice)
Use a 9-inch loaf pan, coat with oil or spray
Use blender/food processor to blend the flaxseeds with 6 Tbsp of water until light and frothy
Whisk together flaxseed mixture with sugar, pumpkin and applesauce
Sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices into the wet ingredients
Mix well
Pour into prepared pan and bake at 350F for 1hr – 1hr 15 min.
Pumpkin Bread, from “the complete vegan kitchen” by Jannequin Bennett (p. 259) This is how it turns out, and it is SOOOO yummy! I still have a few slices left if anyone wants to come by for a visit. PS. The plate it's resting on was made by yours truly!
You need a blender/food processor, a sifter, and a loaf pan to make this recipe.
2 Tbsp Flaxseeds
1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree (you can use mashed sweet potato instead)
½ cup apple sauce (unsweetened)
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup whole wheat flour (I just used ALL whole wheat flour and it turned out fine)
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ ground cloves
(you can replace the last 3 spices with 2 tsp of pumpkin pie spice)
Use a 9-inch loaf pan, coat with oil or spray
Use blender/food processor to blend the flaxseeds with 6 Tbsp of water until light and frothy
Whisk together flaxseed mixture with sugar, pumpkin and applesauce
Sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices into the wet ingredients
Mix well
Pour into prepared pan and bake at 350F for 1hr – 1hr 15 min.
Friday, October 12, 2007
sexy annalise
i'm not sure how many of you are aware of my Australian alter-ego. A few years ago, in a bout of egotistical curiosity, I googled my first name and I got a LOT of hits (don't remember the number I found back then, but today I did it again and it's 509,000!). Near the top of the list is Annalise Braakensiek who is an Australian model. It seems that she mainly models swimsuits, lingerie, fashion wear, and her own skin....and it's obvious that she is one sexy woman, with a lot of fans. Needless to say, I didn't think I had a lot in common with her!!!
BUT, yesterday I found a connection when I was searching online for information re: being vegan and knitting. I started following a vegan diet last winter, not long after learning how to knit. At first, I wasn't too concerned about the 'other side' of being vegan, namely, what I wear and what products I use on my body. I made a conscious decision to concentrate first on what I'm putting IN my body, and I vowed to start investigating the other issues within a year. The end of that year is fast approaching, and as the weather turns colder, I am beginning to pick up the knitting needles more often, so..... I decided to start the next stage of my vegan evolution by snooping around to find out what I should know about knitting (in which one mostly uses sheep's wool) as it relates to being vegan. Indeed, I learned that this industry is not free from the difficult issue of animal cruelty. Quite the opposite, actually. I found a website called Save the Sheep, and this photo of a very nude Annalise Braakensiek with a rescued lamb. Turns out we have something in common after all...
I also learned that there are many alternatives to wool for those who love to knit. Alternatives include "cotton, cotton flannel, polyester fleece, synthetic shearling, and other cruelty-free fibers. Tencel—breathable, durable, and biodegradable—is one of the newest cruelty-free wool substitutes. Polartec Wind Pro—made primarily from recycled plastic soda bottles—is a high-density fleece with four times the wind resistance of wool that also wicks away moisture." I've also seen bamboo wool for sale at Lettuce Knit a store that sells exclusively organic wool, as well as wool alternatives.
A photo of Bamboo Wool from Lettuce Knit.
Here are some excerpts from Save the Sheep, and I warn you, this information is disturbing:
--It may come from a sheep, goat, or Tibetan antelope. It may be called "wool," "mohair," "pashmina," "shahtoosh," or "cashmere." But no matter what it's called, any kind of wool causes harm to the animals from whom it is taken.
--Many people believe that shearing sheep helps animals who might otherwise be burdened with too much wool. But without human interference, sheep grow just enough wool to protect themselves from temperature extremes. The fleece provides effective insulation against both cold and heat. Shearers are usually paid by volume, not by the hour, which encourages fast work without regard for the welfare of the sheep. Says one eyewitness: "[T]he shearing shed must be one of the worst places in the world for cruelty to animals...I have seen shearers punch sheep with their shears or their fists until the sheep's nose bled. I have seen sheep with half their faces shorn off..."
--In Australia, the most commonly raised sheep are Merinos, specifically bred to have wrinkly skin, which means more wool per animal. This unnatural overload of wool causes many sheep to collapse and even die of heat exhaustion during hot months, and the wrinkles collect urine and moisture. Attracted to the moisture, flies lay eggs in the folds of skin, and the hatched maggots can eat the sheep alive. To prevent this so-called "flystrike," Australian ranchers perform a barbaric operation-called "mulesing"-where they force live sheep onto their backs, restrain their legs between metal bars, and, without any painkillers whatsoever, slice chunks of flesh from around their tail area. This is done to cause smooth, scarred skin that can't harbor fly eggs. Ironically, the exposed, bloody wounds themselves often get flystrike before they heal. Within weeks of birth, lambs' ears are hole-punched, their tails are chopped off, and the males are castrated without anesthetics. Male lambs are castrated when they are between 2 and 8 weeks old, either by (I'm editing this section out because it is too gruesome). Every year, hundreds of lambs die before the age of 8 weeks from exposure or starvation, and mature sheep die every year from disease, lack of shelter, and neglect.
--When sheep age and their wool production declines, they are of no use to wool farmers and so are discarded for slaughter. This results in the cruel live export of 6.5 million sheep every year from Australia to the Middle East and North Africa, where sheep are crammed aboard multitiered open-deck ships. Nearly 800,000 sheep enter the live export trade from the U.K. and are slaughtered abroad. Australian and New Zealand sheep are slaughtered in the Middle East, after enduring a grueling, weeks- or months-long journey on overcrowded, disease-ridden ships with little access to food or water through all weather extremes. Many sheep fall ill, many become stuck in feces and are unable to move, and many are smothered or trampled to death by other sheep trying not to fall or trying to reach water when it is available. Shipboard mortality ranges up to 10 percent. When the survivors arrive at their destination, they are dragged from the ships and thrown into the backs of trucks and cars, eventually to have their throats slit while they are fully conscious. In the Muslim nations of North Africa and the Middle East, ritual slaughter is exempt from humane slaughter regulations. Some sheep are slaughtered en masse in lots, while others are taken home, often in the trunks of cars, and slaughtered individually by the purchasers.
My intention with this blog post is not to freak you out and send you running for the hills, but simply to draw attention to this issue and encourage you to consider supporting this cause in whatever way you are able. You'd be joining the likes of Joaquin Phoenix, Pink, and Alicia Silverstone if you do! Not to mention one sexy Annalise...or two :)
BUT, yesterday I found a connection when I was searching online for information re: being vegan and knitting. I started following a vegan diet last winter, not long after learning how to knit. At first, I wasn't too concerned about the 'other side' of being vegan, namely, what I wear and what products I use on my body. I made a conscious decision to concentrate first on what I'm putting IN my body, and I vowed to start investigating the other issues within a year. The end of that year is fast approaching, and as the weather turns colder, I am beginning to pick up the knitting needles more often, so..... I decided to start the next stage of my vegan evolution by snooping around to find out what I should know about knitting (in which one mostly uses sheep's wool) as it relates to being vegan. Indeed, I learned that this industry is not free from the difficult issue of animal cruelty. Quite the opposite, actually. I found a website called Save the Sheep, and this photo of a very nude Annalise Braakensiek with a rescued lamb. Turns out we have something in common after all...
I also learned that there are many alternatives to wool for those who love to knit. Alternatives include "cotton, cotton flannel, polyester fleece, synthetic shearling, and other cruelty-free fibers. Tencel—breathable, durable, and biodegradable—is one of the newest cruelty-free wool substitutes. Polartec Wind Pro—made primarily from recycled plastic soda bottles—is a high-density fleece with four times the wind resistance of wool that also wicks away moisture." I've also seen bamboo wool for sale at Lettuce Knit a store that sells exclusively organic wool, as well as wool alternatives.
A photo of Bamboo Wool from Lettuce Knit.
Here are some excerpts from Save the Sheep, and I warn you, this information is disturbing:
--It may come from a sheep, goat, or Tibetan antelope. It may be called "wool," "mohair," "pashmina," "shahtoosh," or "cashmere." But no matter what it's called, any kind of wool causes harm to the animals from whom it is taken.
--Many people believe that shearing sheep helps animals who might otherwise be burdened with too much wool. But without human interference, sheep grow just enough wool to protect themselves from temperature extremes. The fleece provides effective insulation against both cold and heat. Shearers are usually paid by volume, not by the hour, which encourages fast work without regard for the welfare of the sheep. Says one eyewitness: "[T]he shearing shed must be one of the worst places in the world for cruelty to animals...I have seen shearers punch sheep with their shears or their fists until the sheep's nose bled. I have seen sheep with half their faces shorn off..."
--In Australia, the most commonly raised sheep are Merinos, specifically bred to have wrinkly skin, which means more wool per animal. This unnatural overload of wool causes many sheep to collapse and even die of heat exhaustion during hot months, and the wrinkles collect urine and moisture. Attracted to the moisture, flies lay eggs in the folds of skin, and the hatched maggots can eat the sheep alive. To prevent this so-called "flystrike," Australian ranchers perform a barbaric operation-called "mulesing"-where they force live sheep onto their backs, restrain their legs between metal bars, and, without any painkillers whatsoever, slice chunks of flesh from around their tail area. This is done to cause smooth, scarred skin that can't harbor fly eggs. Ironically, the exposed, bloody wounds themselves often get flystrike before they heal. Within weeks of birth, lambs' ears are hole-punched, their tails are chopped off, and the males are castrated without anesthetics. Male lambs are castrated when they are between 2 and 8 weeks old, either by (I'm editing this section out because it is too gruesome). Every year, hundreds of lambs die before the age of 8 weeks from exposure or starvation, and mature sheep die every year from disease, lack of shelter, and neglect.
--When sheep age and their wool production declines, they are of no use to wool farmers and so are discarded for slaughter. This results in the cruel live export of 6.5 million sheep every year from Australia to the Middle East and North Africa, where sheep are crammed aboard multitiered open-deck ships. Nearly 800,000 sheep enter the live export trade from the U.K. and are slaughtered abroad. Australian and New Zealand sheep are slaughtered in the Middle East, after enduring a grueling, weeks- or months-long journey on overcrowded, disease-ridden ships with little access to food or water through all weather extremes. Many sheep fall ill, many become stuck in feces and are unable to move, and many are smothered or trampled to death by other sheep trying not to fall or trying to reach water when it is available. Shipboard mortality ranges up to 10 percent. When the survivors arrive at their destination, they are dragged from the ships and thrown into the backs of trucks and cars, eventually to have their throats slit while they are fully conscious. In the Muslim nations of North Africa and the Middle East, ritual slaughter is exempt from humane slaughter regulations. Some sheep are slaughtered en masse in lots, while others are taken home, often in the trunks of cars, and slaughtered individually by the purchasers.
My intention with this blog post is not to freak you out and send you running for the hills, but simply to draw attention to this issue and encourage you to consider supporting this cause in whatever way you are able. You'd be joining the likes of Joaquin Phoenix, Pink, and Alicia Silverstone if you do! Not to mention one sexy Annalise...or two :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
the new digs
the past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. Chris started work in Orillia on Oct 1, so he took the bus up with a backpack of belongings and camped out in a dorm room for 3 nights, then a motel room for 2 nights. he got the keys for our new place on the friday of that week, and then caught the bus back to Toronto for the Thanksgiving weekend. check out his veggie blog to see what we had for T-day dinner. Then we packed up the car full of chris things and drove up to deliver him and his belongings for a second week of work.
all of this on top of trying to be a good grad student, has me feeling a bit fried these days. it's a long transition period, but i trust that it will be worth it in the end!
our townhouse is completely empty, but i took some photos of it since a) the link i emailled out to people didn't work and b) i won't actually be moving in there for another month and a half. it looks like the photo i took of the front of the house didn't work, so i'll have to post that at a later date. so, here we go:
Chris entering our new home with his prized possession - the pool noodle.
view from the hallway into the living room.
view from the hallway into the kitchen.
view from the living room looking into the kitchen.
view from the living room looking to the hallway and the stairs leading to 2nd floor.
looking left at the top of the stairs - the washroom on the right, guest room in the middle, office on the left.
looking right at the top of the stairs - you can see into the master bedroom.
and...the master bedroom. 2 closets, 2 windows, a door into bathroom (not shown in photo) and probably space enough for everything we currently own.
chris stealing wireless from one of the nieghbours. hee hee.
a view of the back "yard".
there you have it! not sure what state the place will be in by the time i get up there. chris will probably be so used to living without furniture that he'll want to go all minimalist on me!
all of this on top of trying to be a good grad student, has me feeling a bit fried these days. it's a long transition period, but i trust that it will be worth it in the end!
our townhouse is completely empty, but i took some photos of it since a) the link i emailled out to people didn't work and b) i won't actually be moving in there for another month and a half. it looks like the photo i took of the front of the house didn't work, so i'll have to post that at a later date. so, here we go:
Chris entering our new home with his prized possession - the pool noodle.
view from the hallway into the living room.
view from the hallway into the kitchen.
view from the living room looking into the kitchen.
view from the living room looking to the hallway and the stairs leading to 2nd floor.
looking left at the top of the stairs - the washroom on the right, guest room in the middle, office on the left.
looking right at the top of the stairs - you can see into the master bedroom.
and...the master bedroom. 2 closets, 2 windows, a door into bathroom (not shown in photo) and probably space enough for everything we currently own.
chris stealing wireless from one of the nieghbours. hee hee.
a view of the back "yard".
there you have it! not sure what state the place will be in by the time i get up there. chris will probably be so used to living without furniture that he'll want to go all minimalist on me!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
i'm not pregnant or getting married...but....
...i have an announcement to make to the world. i'm moving to Orillia. oh my!! it's pretty strange to say that with such finality. i've known for about a week and a half that it was POSSIBLE that chris would get a job in Orillia, and that this would lead to some changes re: where to live. yesterday the possibility became a definite. chris was offered the job (yay!) at the Orillia campus of Lakehead University, and he accepted. some might think this decision has come out of the blue, but the truth is that we have been talking a lot in recent months about our common desire to leave Toronto, to live in a smaller community, preferrably with lots of land around it so that i can learn how to grow things and eventually we might be able to eat what i grow (unlike most of the produce that comes out of our current patio garden, as pictured below).
the bonus about Orillia is that there not only a lots of land, there's a lot of water too.
it's a perfect spot to be for outdoor fun - hiking, water activities, rollerblading (there's a paved trail through town), etc etc. also a perfect spot to be if i decide i want to open a veg restaurant instead of being a social worker :) -- there are no veg restaurants in town, as far as i can tell. luckily, it's only 1.5 hour drive to Toronto, and a 2 hour drive to my parents in one direction, and to Chris' parents in the other direction.
also, i've ensured that a) there are possibilities for me to do a work placement for my masters degree in either Barrie or Orillia and that b) there are some possible job opportunities for me once i'm done school this year. no guarantees, but there are definitely some possibilities.
as for timing, we are still ironing out the details, but i will likely stay in toronto until december, and then move up to join Chris in Orillia during the break between fall & winter terms.
so all in all, i'm excited....but i'm also freaked out, nervous, and a bit overwhelmed with the thought of packing up and leaving the city I've called home for 8 years.
Some quotes about change that will hopefully help me through the next few months:
Nothing endures but change.
Heraclitus
We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Harrison Ford
Change is the process by which the future invades our lives.
Alvin Toffler
We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882)
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France
the bonus about Orillia is that there not only a lots of land, there's a lot of water too.
it's a perfect spot to be for outdoor fun - hiking, water activities, rollerblading (there's a paved trail through town), etc etc. also a perfect spot to be if i decide i want to open a veg restaurant instead of being a social worker :) -- there are no veg restaurants in town, as far as i can tell. luckily, it's only 1.5 hour drive to Toronto, and a 2 hour drive to my parents in one direction, and to Chris' parents in the other direction.
also, i've ensured that a) there are possibilities for me to do a work placement for my masters degree in either Barrie or Orillia and that b) there are some possible job opportunities for me once i'm done school this year. no guarantees, but there are definitely some possibilities.
as for timing, we are still ironing out the details, but i will likely stay in toronto until december, and then move up to join Chris in Orillia during the break between fall & winter terms.
so all in all, i'm excited....but i'm also freaked out, nervous, and a bit overwhelmed with the thought of packing up and leaving the city I've called home for 8 years.
Some quotes about change that will hopefully help me through the next few months:
Nothing endures but change.
Heraclitus
We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Harrison Ford
Change is the process by which the future invades our lives.
Alvin Toffler
We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882)
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France
Thursday, September 13, 2007
under the weather
I'm sick. I woke up on Sunday morning with a sore throat and a general feeling of lethargy. By late afternoon it was a full-fledged head cold. The timing of this was not great, as I had 3 "first" classes to attend on Monday and Tuesday (my 4th class met for the first time before I got sick). I'm sure I've made a great impression on my profs and fellow students. At Monday night's class I wasn't very smart, in that I didn't have any Kleenex with me, so I grabbed a strip of toilet paper from the women's washroom and used that to dab at my nose all night. Of course, I was sitting right beside the prof (not planned, she came in last and the room was set up with 4 tables in a square...I just happened to be at the corner where she chose to sit too). And of course, my nose was dripping and clogging up way more than that weak little strip of no-name TP was designed for. It wasn't pretty. But, I didn't get accepted to grad school for naught...I learned my lesson, and for my two Tuesday morning classes I carried around my own personal (and large) box of Kleenex. And a little garbage bag too. Didn't want to leave my germs on someone else's future seat or writing surface! It was still a pretty sad situation, but whilst back at home, I managed to entertain myself by:
a) becoming addicted to Facebook Scrabble, and,
b) watching season 3 of The Office. The whole season. In 3 days. Wow.
By Wednesday I was starting to become more cough-y and less stuff-y. Miraculously, I slept like a baby on Wednesday night (had been waking up a lot every night from inability to breathe through stupid clogged up nose). Woke up this morning, but as I am alone here for the week (Chris is up north) and I have no classes today, I didn't speak to anyone all morning. I finally made a phone call around lunchtime and upon leaving a message, realized that I sound like a 12 year old boy on the verge of puberty (if I'm lucky that's what I sound like). So I've spent the day croaking to a few people on the phone and at Shoppers Drug Mart and at the post office. And now I'm off to bed. Wonder what I'll sound like tomorrow?
a) becoming addicted to Facebook Scrabble, and,
b) watching season 3 of The Office. The whole season. In 3 days. Wow.
By Wednesday I was starting to become more cough-y and less stuff-y. Miraculously, I slept like a baby on Wednesday night (had been waking up a lot every night from inability to breathe through stupid clogged up nose). Woke up this morning, but as I am alone here for the week (Chris is up north) and I have no classes today, I didn't speak to anyone all morning. I finally made a phone call around lunchtime and upon leaving a message, realized that I sound like a 12 year old boy on the verge of puberty (if I'm lucky that's what I sound like). So I've spent the day croaking to a few people on the phone and at Shoppers Drug Mart and at the post office. And now I'm off to bed. Wonder what I'll sound like tomorrow?
Friday, August 31, 2007
Algonquin Park
I went on my first canoe trip! My friend Bridgette and I have both dreamed of doing a multi-day canoe trip in Algonquin Park, and we both realized that dream. We left Toronto on Friday August 17th and drove up to the park. Just getting there was an adventure in that we encountered 1) a dog loose on the 401, 2) a major fire on Hwy 7 just east of Peterborough and 3) torrential rains all the way from Maynooth to Whitney. But we made it. We set up camp at a traditional drive-in site not too far from the Outfitters Store on Friday night, and organized all the stuff we'd thrown into my car. We both felt very unprepared, but we managed to get our act together and made it to the Outfitters Store on Saturday morning to pick up our canoe and get paddling.
Saturday
We did the unthinkable and paddled up Lake Opeongo to the North Arm. The staff estimated 4-6 hours, and we made it in just under 5. It was a long, hard day, but such an accomplishment!! We both felt invincible!!
Set up camp and got warm and cozy around the campfire.
Sunday
We paddled the rest of Opeongo and did a 2km portage over to Happy Isle lake. Oh. My. God. That is one long portage! We carried all the gear the first time, and then doubled back and carried the canoe together. Camped on Happy Isle.
Woke up to this beautiful morning mist.
Monday
Paddled across Happy Isle, and did a .5km portage over to Merchant Lake. Found an amazing campsite on Merchant, spacious, with a lovely "point" and a view of the sunrise and the sunset.
Once we got settled (see photo!)....
....we paddled over to a 60m portage (yes, 60m) and took the canoe over to Lake Chickadee to look for the only campsite on the whole lake. After much searching (we paddled around the entire lake), we finally located the site. There was no orange sign advertising it's location, and when we got closer we realized there had been a fire, so the site is probably closed to the public for a while. This portage was so easy we had time to stop and take a few photos :)
Tuesday
Stayed at Merchant because we loved our site so much. This was my favourite reading nook.
Paddled the perimeter of the lake to explore. It got very choppy and I got very nervous, but we were ok. Found a beautiful campsite with a long narrow beach. Hoping to go back there someday.
Wednesday
Paddled back to Happy Isle and found a campsite on the island. Had a lazy day, reading, getting screamed at by the local squirrels, doing a photo shoot, etc etc.
Thursday
Paddled back to the 2km portage, and went for an impromptu swim before embarking on the 1.5 hour endeavour. Funny thing is, we changed into our swimsuits out in the open on the little beach right at the end of the portage. Just after changing back into our normal clothes, 3 canoes full of 6 American men came paddling into shore to embark on the portage themselves. If only they'd arrived 3 minutes earlier, they would have had quite the show! After the portage, we waited for the ferry to take back down Opeongo (yes, we cheated, and it was worth every penny!).
Saturday
We did the unthinkable and paddled up Lake Opeongo to the North Arm. The staff estimated 4-6 hours, and we made it in just under 5. It was a long, hard day, but such an accomplishment!! We both felt invincible!!
Set up camp and got warm and cozy around the campfire.
Sunday
We paddled the rest of Opeongo and did a 2km portage over to Happy Isle lake. Oh. My. God. That is one long portage! We carried all the gear the first time, and then doubled back and carried the canoe together. Camped on Happy Isle.
Woke up to this beautiful morning mist.
Monday
Paddled across Happy Isle, and did a .5km portage over to Merchant Lake. Found an amazing campsite on Merchant, spacious, with a lovely "point" and a view of the sunrise and the sunset.
Once we got settled (see photo!)....
....we paddled over to a 60m portage (yes, 60m) and took the canoe over to Lake Chickadee to look for the only campsite on the whole lake. After much searching (we paddled around the entire lake), we finally located the site. There was no orange sign advertising it's location, and when we got closer we realized there had been a fire, so the site is probably closed to the public for a while. This portage was so easy we had time to stop and take a few photos :)
Tuesday
Stayed at Merchant because we loved our site so much. This was my favourite reading nook.
Paddled the perimeter of the lake to explore. It got very choppy and I got very nervous, but we were ok. Found a beautiful campsite with a long narrow beach. Hoping to go back there someday.
Wednesday
Paddled back to Happy Isle and found a campsite on the island. Had a lazy day, reading, getting screamed at by the local squirrels, doing a photo shoot, etc etc.
Thursday
Paddled back to the 2km portage, and went for an impromptu swim before embarking on the 1.5 hour endeavour. Funny thing is, we changed into our swimsuits out in the open on the little beach right at the end of the portage. Just after changing back into our normal clothes, 3 canoes full of 6 American men came paddling into shore to embark on the portage themselves. If only they'd arrived 3 minutes earlier, they would have had quite the show! After the portage, we waited for the ferry to take back down Opeongo (yes, we cheated, and it was worth every penny!).
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Memoirs of a sensei, part three
ACROSS THE WORLD
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated August 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my first summer in Japan.)
THREE: Subtle Changes
"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still" (Chinese Proverb)
August came. My life began to stabilize. People and things began to distract me.
I sang. I found myself at the centre of the musical crowd in town. Accidentally I began singing in public. One night at the pub the guitar was out and suddenly I was singing Simon and Garfunkel to a roomful of strangers. My confidence slowly began to build.
I travelled. I couldn't speak any Japanese, but I travelled with a friend who had been in Saga for 6 months, so I thought we'd be just fine. It turned out that 6 months of Japanese is pretty basic, so we had an interesting (read: cursed) week. I think we spent more combined hours waiting for transportation in various locales than we actually spent travelling to any given destination. But it was fun I admit. And educational. I learned a lot. I learned not to believe Ben when he says it'll be more rewarding to climb the volcano than pay 10 bucks worth of yen to take the tour bus. I learned to look at the map myself rather than trust his sense of distance when he suggests that we not walk down the volcano the same way we walked up because he'd rather see different scenery and the other way down doesn't look much longer. I learned not to believe Kevin O'Keeffe of County Kerry, Ireland, when he says he'll meet you on Wednesday at 5:30 and will split the hotel bill with you. I learned to bring extra cash because when Kevin decides not to show up, you have to split the bill two ways instead of three which was not what you originally budgeted. I learned to book accommodations ahead because we might just spend an entire day travelling to a famous mountainous area in the pouring rain, only to arrive 40 minutes before the last bus heads back to where we came from, only to find out that all the hotels in the area are fully booked except for the ones that charge 100 dollars per person per night. I learned that a frustrating experience like that can be worth it just because of the split-second glimpse of an amazing waterfall en route, that only I seemed to notice. I learned that sunrises in Japan are spectacular. And I learned that in six short weeks I came to regard my little house in Ise Machi as a home, since coming back to it felt so good after my week of travels.
I wrote. I regularly sat on my 2nd floor patio and mused about the world. Sometimes I watched the reflections of the sunset, and sometimes I watched the moon follow it's course across the night sky. I wish I knew the words to describe the awesome works of Nature, but they are beyond my grasp. Nature is the art of God, I think Dante said. I could never actually see the sun setting because I don't have a clear view from the balcony...too many houses...not too mention the huge statue of Buddha overlooking the cemetery next door. But I could see the effects of the sunset on the sky above me. It reminds me of God, who we can't see...but whose presence effects the world around us every day. It also reminds me of God because it has two distinct natures. It is excruciatingly hot these days, painfully hot, but the heat is necessary for the growth of crops. It gives what is needed whether we like it or not. But that violently hot sun is at the same time so magnificent in it's beauty and artwork, the way it rises and sets, the way it changes the image of a cloud or shines through the leaves of a tree. One entity, two personas. As it is with God, who teaches me things I don't want to learn, and leads me places against my will. But only God knows what it will take to grow me, whether it be extreme heat or gentle breezes. And the art produced by God, otherwise known as Nature -- this moonlight I've grown so fond of, the volcano I climbed last week rising out of the water, the tree that has stood for hundreds of years reaching for the sky and refusing to relinquish it's goal, the dark clouds that move so swiftly across a clear sky to bring thunder and lightning and refreshing rain -- all these things I have seen in one week of living, and the time I take to appreciate them changes me in subtle ways.
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated August 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my first summer in Japan.)
THREE: Subtle Changes
"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still" (Chinese Proverb)
August came. My life began to stabilize. People and things began to distract me.
I sang. I found myself at the centre of the musical crowd in town. Accidentally I began singing in public. One night at the pub the guitar was out and suddenly I was singing Simon and Garfunkel to a roomful of strangers. My confidence slowly began to build.
I travelled. I couldn't speak any Japanese, but I travelled with a friend who had been in Saga for 6 months, so I thought we'd be just fine. It turned out that 6 months of Japanese is pretty basic, so we had an interesting (read: cursed) week. I think we spent more combined hours waiting for transportation in various locales than we actually spent travelling to any given destination. But it was fun I admit. And educational. I learned a lot. I learned not to believe Ben when he says it'll be more rewarding to climb the volcano than pay 10 bucks worth of yen to take the tour bus. I learned to look at the map myself rather than trust his sense of distance when he suggests that we not walk down the volcano the same way we walked up because he'd rather see different scenery and the other way down doesn't look much longer. I learned not to believe Kevin O'Keeffe of County Kerry, Ireland, when he says he'll meet you on Wednesday at 5:30 and will split the hotel bill with you. I learned to bring extra cash because when Kevin decides not to show up, you have to split the bill two ways instead of three which was not what you originally budgeted. I learned to book accommodations ahead because we might just spend an entire day travelling to a famous mountainous area in the pouring rain, only to arrive 40 minutes before the last bus heads back to where we came from, only to find out that all the hotels in the area are fully booked except for the ones that charge 100 dollars per person per night. I learned that a frustrating experience like that can be worth it just because of the split-second glimpse of an amazing waterfall en route, that only I seemed to notice. I learned that sunrises in Japan are spectacular. And I learned that in six short weeks I came to regard my little house in Ise Machi as a home, since coming back to it felt so good after my week of travels.
I wrote. I regularly sat on my 2nd floor patio and mused about the world. Sometimes I watched the reflections of the sunset, and sometimes I watched the moon follow it's course across the night sky. I wish I knew the words to describe the awesome works of Nature, but they are beyond my grasp. Nature is the art of God, I think Dante said. I could never actually see the sun setting because I don't have a clear view from the balcony...too many houses...not too mention the huge statue of Buddha overlooking the cemetery next door. But I could see the effects of the sunset on the sky above me. It reminds me of God, who we can't see...but whose presence effects the world around us every day. It also reminds me of God because it has two distinct natures. It is excruciatingly hot these days, painfully hot, but the heat is necessary for the growth of crops. It gives what is needed whether we like it or not. But that violently hot sun is at the same time so magnificent in it's beauty and artwork, the way it rises and sets, the way it changes the image of a cloud or shines through the leaves of a tree. One entity, two personas. As it is with God, who teaches me things I don't want to learn, and leads me places against my will. But only God knows what it will take to grow me, whether it be extreme heat or gentle breezes. And the art produced by God, otherwise known as Nature -- this moonlight I've grown so fond of, the volcano I climbed last week rising out of the water, the tree that has stood for hundreds of years reaching for the sky and refusing to relinquish it's goal, the dark clouds that move so swiftly across a clear sky to bring thunder and lightning and refreshing rain -- all these things I have seen in one week of living, and the time I take to appreciate them changes me in subtle ways.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
wandering in the forest
Chris and I took off last weekend. Originally we'd planned to do a weekend away to celebrate our birthdays, but we ended up booking it on the weekend following my last day of work, and also realized that it is our 2 year anniversary of co-habitating! So, we had a lot to celebrate.
We drove up to the Orangeville area on Saturday and went to the Mono Cliffs Inn for lunch. Lucky for us they had 2 veg items on the menu, so we each ordered one and shared. I'm not convinced the salad was full vegan, but it was delicious and nothing bad happened to me after eating it. Chris had a curry bowl. Then we hiked for a couple of hours along the Mono Cliffs trail , which connects to the Bruce Trail ,and ended up at a great lookout pictured below. Parts of the trail were very sandy (strange) so we got very dirty feet also pictured below!
We then drove up to Shelburne, about 20 minutes further north, and found our "B&B" - which was really a woman named Carole who rents out her basement space...but let me tell you, this woman can COOK! We paid extra to have dinner there, and of course, the breakfast was included, and both were terrific organic vegan meals. There are not a lot of places out there that cater to vegan folk, so we were very pleased to find Carole.
Saturday night we attended the Canadian Open Olde Time Fiddle Contest!! You might think this would be all stomping and fun, but it was some serious business! Especially the kids....they were totally into it, and they were amazing!
Also while in Shelburne we stopped to see a "wind farm", pictured below (the pictures don't do it justice).
Sunday morning we decided to strike out and try a new hiking trail, which turned out to be a bit of an adventure. It was part of Boyne Valley Provincial Park, and the trail we hiked (very badly) was the Primrose Loop trail. It was supposed to be about a 2km loop but we were walking for about 3 hours!!! I don't think we did the loop more than once, but we definitely strayed from the blue-marked path! Chris blames it all on The Best of the Bruce Trail book....so if you're ever talking to him about hiking you might want to recommend that book to him and see how he reacts!
As Chris mentions in his blog, getting lost in the forest was a good thing for us because we saw a deer, a turtle, and we almost got run over by some crazy turkey vultures (at least that's what we think they were)....now I'm not so sure because I just looked up turkey vultures and they don't look anything like what we saw....(they burst out of the forest onto the trail ahead of us and ran so fast we couldn't get the camera out in time). These are some of the pictures we did take.
Anyway, now I'm off to Algonquin for another week of wandering in the forest, this time by canoe.....stay tuned!
We drove up to the Orangeville area on Saturday and went to the Mono Cliffs Inn for lunch. Lucky for us they had 2 veg items on the menu, so we each ordered one and shared. I'm not convinced the salad was full vegan, but it was delicious and nothing bad happened to me after eating it. Chris had a curry bowl. Then we hiked for a couple of hours along the Mono Cliffs trail , which connects to the Bruce Trail ,and ended up at a great lookout pictured below. Parts of the trail were very sandy (strange) so we got very dirty feet also pictured below!
We then drove up to Shelburne, about 20 minutes further north, and found our "B&B" - which was really a woman named Carole who rents out her basement space...but let me tell you, this woman can COOK! We paid extra to have dinner there, and of course, the breakfast was included, and both were terrific organic vegan meals. There are not a lot of places out there that cater to vegan folk, so we were very pleased to find Carole.
Saturday night we attended the Canadian Open Olde Time Fiddle Contest!! You might think this would be all stomping and fun, but it was some serious business! Especially the kids....they were totally into it, and they were amazing!
Also while in Shelburne we stopped to see a "wind farm", pictured below (the pictures don't do it justice).
Sunday morning we decided to strike out and try a new hiking trail, which turned out to be a bit of an adventure. It was part of Boyne Valley Provincial Park, and the trail we hiked (very badly) was the Primrose Loop trail. It was supposed to be about a 2km loop but we were walking for about 3 hours!!! I don't think we did the loop more than once, but we definitely strayed from the blue-marked path! Chris blames it all on The Best of the Bruce Trail book....so if you're ever talking to him about hiking you might want to recommend that book to him and see how he reacts!
As Chris mentions in his blog, getting lost in the forest was a good thing for us because we saw a deer, a turtle, and we almost got run over by some crazy turkey vultures (at least that's what we think they were)....now I'm not so sure because I just looked up turkey vultures and they don't look anything like what we saw....(they burst out of the forest onto the trail ahead of us and ran so fast we couldn't get the camera out in time). These are some of the pictures we did take.
Anyway, now I'm off to Algonquin for another week of wandering in the forest, this time by canoe.....stay tuned!
Monday, August 13, 2007
celebrate good times, woo hoo
My colleague Louise made this cake which I've dubbed "Louise's Triple Layer Coconut and Chocolate Killer Cake" in honour of my last day of work at the Hospice (last Friday). I'm still bouncing off the walls! Delicious! If anyone wants the recipe let me know and I'll beg her for it :)
Thursday, August 09, 2007
i'm a lumberjack, and i'm ok
I got up this morning and was shocked to see that the tree which shades our patio has fallen down. The irony is that I hosted book club under that tree just yesterday evening. Looks like the base of the tree is in our neighbours backyard (which I never realized before) and it crashed the fence and has trapped some wires under it too. Hmmm. I think I should give the landlord a call....
Looking straight down from our 3rd floor patio
Coming out the back door of our building, ground level
From my parking spot, the view of the back of our building blocked by fallen tree
The new view from our treeless patio. So sad.
Looking straight down from our 3rd floor patio
Coming out the back door of our building, ground level
From my parking spot, the view of the back of our building blocked by fallen tree
The new view from our treeless patio. So sad.
Friday, August 03, 2007
The Power of Healing
As I wind down with my work at the Hospice, and slowly meander my way through the complexity of emotions that are arising within me, I am particularly touched by this essay by Balfour Mount, something of a mentor in the Hospice Palliative Care sector in Canada. He is Professor Emeritus of Oncology and Palliative Medicine at McGill University, and he submitted this essay for the "This I Believe" series at CBC.
To hear him speaking the essay with his own voice (very powerful especially given his current diagnosis of cancer in the esophagus), click
here .
The Power of Healing
by Dr. Balfour Mount
I believe in healing. I am not speaking of physical healing, a person can die healed: what I mean by “healing” is a shift away from anguish and suffering, toward an experience of integrity, wholeness and inner peace. The ultimate goal of healing is to enable us to be of greater service to others and to the global village of which we are temporary trustees.
My thoughts have been shaped by multiple personal brushes with death — a plane crash; three cancers and all that followed those diagnoses; a heart attack; the deaths of loved ones; my work as a cancer surgeon; the privilege of caring for the dying over the last three decades. Paradoxically, the message emerging from these experiences has been about living, not dying. The psyche, it would seem, has an intrinsic tendency toward healing.
I believe healing, like love, celebration, awe and ecstasy, happens in the present moment, free from ruminations about the past and fears for the future. It involves letting go, a leap of faith, “diving not drowning” as Carl Jung expressed it. ALS patient Phil Simmons called it “learning to fall.” We fall from head, to heart; from egoism and defense mechanisms, to forgiveness of ourselves and others. We may thus come to glimpse the staggering potential of our essential selves and experience an awareness of the healing connections that provide meaning, hope and a sense of an inner peace.
I believe healing connections happen at four levels: a sense of connection to self; connection to others; connection to the world perceived through our senses (as with music, or the grandeur of nature); and connection to ultimate meaning, however perceived (God, the More, the Cosmos). While my experience of the first of these — connection to self - is slowly unfolding, I have, throughout life, been enriched beyond measure through each of the other domains. In spite of this, I have too often felt trapped by circumstances — stuck with the ‘Why me?’ ‘Why now?’ ‘What if?’ questions of life.
I believe my challenge is to open to each moment with acceptance; to listen to my intuition; to develop self-reflective skills; to be more gentle with myself; to think small; to give up illusions of control.
I believe healing involves a process of opening, slowing, centering, trusting and accepting. This process leads us away from preoccupation with all that is been lost to a clearer recognition of the potential that remains.
Finally, I believe that I must take up the journey toward healing anew each day. The renowned Jewish scholar, Hillel, put it succinctly, “If I don’t do it, who will do it? If I don’t do it now, when will I do it?”
For This I Believe I’m Balfour Mount in Montreal.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Memoirs of a sensei, part two
ACROSS THE WORLD
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated July 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my first month in Japan. More excerpts to come.)
TWO: The Journals of July
July 3. I feel sick to my stomach today. I can't get home out of my mind. Everyone thinks I'm being so brave, but really I'm so frightened! Before I came here I had no doubts that this was something I need to do in my life. Now I'm not sure I'll even survive.
I miss my family. I miss my friends. I can sense the distance already. Not just geographically, emotionally too. The pictures I've put up on my wall make me cry. This week has been terribly lonely with C, who I talked with an average of 5 times per day the six months prior to leaving home. This is actually the first time I've let myself think about it since I arrived here. I've been shutting off my emotions so that I could absorb as much as humanly possible this past week. The person training me (and leaving next week) asks if she's telling me too much and I can't say yes because that would make me vulnerable and my guard would come down and I'd lose it. So I shake my head and keep trying to take it all in. And I continue to put on a veneer of sanity despite the fact that I'm hurling on the inside. I thought I had learned how to be vulnerable, but maybe it'll take more than a week.
July 5. The rains have come and washed some of my sadness and inhibitions away. Today I was laughing out loud as I learned how to ride a bicycle through a downpour (yes, holding an umbrella which really ends up being useless as you roll through the puddles).
I met many excellent people yesterday, but I can tell they won't understand me very well. We have such different backgrounds. I'm starting to censor myself already.
July 10. I have never felt so sad and lonely. My brother told me, just after I arrived (he met me at the airport and came to visit me the next day ...he's going back to Canada next week) that one thing he's learned by living here (for 4 years) is how to accept loneliness. That it isn't necessarily an emotion to be avoided. That it's important to learn how to embrace it.
Great. I can hardly wait.
Today marks the two week anniversary of when I left home. Exactly two weeks ago (right now it's Wednesday evening at home), all my friends in the near vicinity were gathered to say goodbye. I felt so special, so loved. My faith in the sanctity of friendship was heightened. I was so excited about this adventure, felt like I was sitting on cloud nine (to use a cliche). Now I'm sitting on a futon in my bathrobe, dissolved in tears.
The rain is beginning to bother me. It doesn't seem to stop --- EVER. It's been raining all week. Where does it all come from? Where is it kept so that it all comes down at once like this, like a tsunami from the sky?
July 13.
I'm watching the moon to the tune of the crickets and locusts. It's a brilliant orange half-moon with the edge fringed just enough to make it look soft, but strong. Today was beautiful. The rain stopped just in time to save me from insanity. It hasn't stopped for good but at least it took a coffee break.
The moon is sinking below the houses now. Soon it'll be shining at home. Part of me wants to go with it, but part of me is slowly gaining confidence in this strange and challenging place.
July 19. When I wake up in the morning I can usually tell if it's going to be a homesick day or not. Today I knew as soon as my feet hit the tatami. Weekends are so quiet. Too many consecutive hours of silence is quite a challenge when I'm feeling out of my element (which is definitely how I'm feeling). That IS what I wanted for this year of my life though...to be out of my element after spending 23 years IN it. I'm discovering the depth of my innocence and naivete because the "gaijin" (ex-pat) lifestyle is so different from what I'm used to at home.
I got a package from my mom! As it turns out I even get weepy just listening to certain CD's. What a sap I am. I'm smiling, laughing and crying all at the same time - listening to the disc that C gave me as a goodbye gift. Remembering the two of us bopping around the store to track #3. Laughter through tears.
July 21. I think I've figured out my addiction to the moon. I think it's my symbol of God in this place. Lately I've been talking to it, pondering it, missing it on the nights that it rises too late for me to see, or when it's hiding behind the clouds, but knowing all the time that it's there.
July 25. As tired as I am, I have many thoughts floating around this head of mine tonight. Interestingly enough, I always get introspective after spending an evening at the pub -- and I don't think it has anything to do with the alcohol!! As always, the moon is supportive. I look at it tonight and it's a half moon, and I realize that's about as much as most of the people here are ever going to know about me – unless I choose to let them know more. I guess I'll never stop missing those friends that I have back home who already know me so well, and who I feel so loved by. They'll never be replaced. But I need to start making some friends here or else I'll have to get very comfortable with loneliness, very soon. And I'm not ready for that! Not yet, anyway....
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated July 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my first month in Japan. More excerpts to come.)
TWO: The Journals of July
July 3. I feel sick to my stomach today. I can't get home out of my mind. Everyone thinks I'm being so brave, but really I'm so frightened! Before I came here I had no doubts that this was something I need to do in my life. Now I'm not sure I'll even survive.
I miss my family. I miss my friends. I can sense the distance already. Not just geographically, emotionally too. The pictures I've put up on my wall make me cry. This week has been terribly lonely with C, who I talked with an average of 5 times per day the six months prior to leaving home. This is actually the first time I've let myself think about it since I arrived here. I've been shutting off my emotions so that I could absorb as much as humanly possible this past week. The person training me (and leaving next week) asks if she's telling me too much and I can't say yes because that would make me vulnerable and my guard would come down and I'd lose it. So I shake my head and keep trying to take it all in. And I continue to put on a veneer of sanity despite the fact that I'm hurling on the inside. I thought I had learned how to be vulnerable, but maybe it'll take more than a week.
July 5. The rains have come and washed some of my sadness and inhibitions away. Today I was laughing out loud as I learned how to ride a bicycle through a downpour (yes, holding an umbrella which really ends up being useless as you roll through the puddles).
I met many excellent people yesterday, but I can tell they won't understand me very well. We have such different backgrounds. I'm starting to censor myself already.
July 10. I have never felt so sad and lonely. My brother told me, just after I arrived (he met me at the airport and came to visit me the next day ...he's going back to Canada next week) that one thing he's learned by living here (for 4 years) is how to accept loneliness. That it isn't necessarily an emotion to be avoided. That it's important to learn how to embrace it.
Great. I can hardly wait.
Today marks the two week anniversary of when I left home. Exactly two weeks ago (right now it's Wednesday evening at home), all my friends in the near vicinity were gathered to say goodbye. I felt so special, so loved. My faith in the sanctity of friendship was heightened. I was so excited about this adventure, felt like I was sitting on cloud nine (to use a cliche). Now I'm sitting on a futon in my bathrobe, dissolved in tears.
The rain is beginning to bother me. It doesn't seem to stop --- EVER. It's been raining all week. Where does it all come from? Where is it kept so that it all comes down at once like this, like a tsunami from the sky?
July 13.
I'm watching the moon to the tune of the crickets and locusts. It's a brilliant orange half-moon with the edge fringed just enough to make it look soft, but strong. Today was beautiful. The rain stopped just in time to save me from insanity. It hasn't stopped for good but at least it took a coffee break.
The moon is sinking below the houses now. Soon it'll be shining at home. Part of me wants to go with it, but part of me is slowly gaining confidence in this strange and challenging place.
July 19. When I wake up in the morning I can usually tell if it's going to be a homesick day or not. Today I knew as soon as my feet hit the tatami. Weekends are so quiet. Too many consecutive hours of silence is quite a challenge when I'm feeling out of my element (which is definitely how I'm feeling). That IS what I wanted for this year of my life though...to be out of my element after spending 23 years IN it. I'm discovering the depth of my innocence and naivete because the "gaijin" (ex-pat) lifestyle is so different from what I'm used to at home.
I got a package from my mom! As it turns out I even get weepy just listening to certain CD's. What a sap I am. I'm smiling, laughing and crying all at the same time - listening to the disc that C gave me as a goodbye gift. Remembering the two of us bopping around the store to track #3. Laughter through tears.
July 21. I think I've figured out my addiction to the moon. I think it's my symbol of God in this place. Lately I've been talking to it, pondering it, missing it on the nights that it rises too late for me to see, or when it's hiding behind the clouds, but knowing all the time that it's there.
July 25. As tired as I am, I have many thoughts floating around this head of mine tonight. Interestingly enough, I always get introspective after spending an evening at the pub -- and I don't think it has anything to do with the alcohol!! As always, the moon is supportive. I look at it tonight and it's a half moon, and I realize that's about as much as most of the people here are ever going to know about me – unless I choose to let them know more. I guess I'll never stop missing those friends that I have back home who already know me so well, and who I feel so loved by. They'll never be replaced. But I need to start making some friends here or else I'll have to get very comfortable with loneliness, very soon. And I'm not ready for that! Not yet, anyway....
Thursday, June 28, 2007
wild life
Some random shots of the "wild life" in Toronto.
Crystal's first rose. I am the surrogate gardener while Crystal is out of country. Didn't want her to miss the first beautiful bloom.
Cat on top of Crystal's shed. Couldn't resist.
Neighbourhood squirrel that likes to sabotage my pepper plants and eat my herbs. I caught him in a moment of rest. If only I'd had a bb gun instead of a camera!
Crystal's first rose. I am the surrogate gardener while Crystal is out of country. Didn't want her to miss the first beautiful bloom.
Cat on top of Crystal's shed. Couldn't resist.
Neighbourhood squirrel that likes to sabotage my pepper plants and eat my herbs. I caught him in a moment of rest. If only I'd had a bb gun instead of a camera!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Memoirs of a sensei, part one
ACROSS THE WORLD
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated June 26, 1997 - June 29, 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my departure for Japan. More excerpts to come.)
ONE: The way I feel
“Somehow let me say how I feel. I think you’d take my hand if you could understand the way I feel.” (N. Honeytree)
Flight.
My weary swollen half-drugged eyes crack open. Blood shot, tear-streaked eyes. The reading light glares above me and it seems to have zapped all the energy from my just-turned-23-years-old body. I’ve always been paranoid of flying overseas because I think the worst place to crash would be in an ocean…the unfathomable depth, the inability to rescue yourself since no land is in sight, the interminable wait for the sharks to come looking for breakfast. How morbid. But it’s true I think. If a plane should crash on land at least there’s a hope of survival and the possibility of walking to a payphone to call for help. Ok, maybe not. But it’s my birthday so I’m allowed to exaggerate. It’s funny though, because if I’m going to drown to death on this flight, it won’t be in the ocean that stretches endlessly beneath me, it’ll be in a pool of my own tears. I’ll probably shrivel up from the saline water that drenches my face sooner than I’ll be eaten by sharks. Hmmmm. Comforting thought.
Staring at the airline logo on the paper bag in front of me, I wish myself a happy 23rd birthday and wonder, God, what the hell am I doing? I just left everything I know and love, and that knows and loves me, behind - in the only place I’ve ever known. Why exactly am I doing this to myself? Some invisible invincible force has wrenched me away against my will it seems. I didn’t choose this, I couldn’t have.
Although I’m emotionally stable for the moment, I have this ominous feeling that once I reach Tokyo I’ll lose it again. This is the wildest situation I’ve ever been in….there’s no telling how I’ll react when the plane touches down on the other side of the world. Ever since the plane lost contact with Canadian soil, I’ve felt myself being stretched. I am “different” for the first time ever. I feel so unsure of myself and of everyone around me.
I can see the shadow of the plane on the blanket of clouds underneath me. I hope the clouds will protect me from the water below since they can’t protect me from my own tears.
Arrival.
Sitting alone in the Tokyo airport. When we broke through the clouds and I saw land, it looked so different from what I had expected. From the little I’ve been told of this place I was imagining infrastructure as far as the eye could see. Zero land, zero space. But I was so wrong. There are the same patchwork squares of land joining together into the quilt that is Japan. Not so different from home.
It hasn’t taken me long to notice how much I stick out here. The lack of foreigners isn’t bothering me so much…it’s the language barrier that is frustrating. Communication is one of my strengths, so I really hate being unable to make use of that strength now. I hate being illiterate. It’s a good thing the signs here in the Tokyo airport are bilingual. One more flight and a bus ride until I can go to sleep and dream of home.
Saga.
I made it. I’m here. Lying in my new bed (a futon), in the middle of my new room (with tatami floors). It’s much easier to believe that everything will be ok now that I’m surrounded by people who have already done it and survived. Now I know it can be done, I just have to find the courage and the creativity to do it myself.
Every few seconds the “why” demon flits in and out and my stomach turns. I have to remind myself during the seconds in between that the whole point of this experience is to TRY. Not to be guided or to depend too much on other people for direction. To learn. To experiment. To explore.
Kanpai…
Memoirs of a sensei
(Excerpts from my journal entries dated June 26, 1997 - June 29, 1997 on the tenth anniversary of my departure for Japan. More excerpts to come.)
ONE: The way I feel
“Somehow let me say how I feel. I think you’d take my hand if you could understand the way I feel.” (N. Honeytree)
Flight.
My weary swollen half-drugged eyes crack open. Blood shot, tear-streaked eyes. The reading light glares above me and it seems to have zapped all the energy from my just-turned-23-years-old body. I’ve always been paranoid of flying overseas because I think the worst place to crash would be in an ocean…the unfathomable depth, the inability to rescue yourself since no land is in sight, the interminable wait for the sharks to come looking for breakfast. How morbid. But it’s true I think. If a plane should crash on land at least there’s a hope of survival and the possibility of walking to a payphone to call for help. Ok, maybe not. But it’s my birthday so I’m allowed to exaggerate. It’s funny though, because if I’m going to drown to death on this flight, it won’t be in the ocean that stretches endlessly beneath me, it’ll be in a pool of my own tears. I’ll probably shrivel up from the saline water that drenches my face sooner than I’ll be eaten by sharks. Hmmmm. Comforting thought.
Staring at the airline logo on the paper bag in front of me, I wish myself a happy 23rd birthday and wonder, God, what the hell am I doing? I just left everything I know and love, and that knows and loves me, behind - in the only place I’ve ever known. Why exactly am I doing this to myself? Some invisible invincible force has wrenched me away against my will it seems. I didn’t choose this, I couldn’t have.
Although I’m emotionally stable for the moment, I have this ominous feeling that once I reach Tokyo I’ll lose it again. This is the wildest situation I’ve ever been in….there’s no telling how I’ll react when the plane touches down on the other side of the world. Ever since the plane lost contact with Canadian soil, I’ve felt myself being stretched. I am “different” for the first time ever. I feel so unsure of myself and of everyone around me.
I can see the shadow of the plane on the blanket of clouds underneath me. I hope the clouds will protect me from the water below since they can’t protect me from my own tears.
Arrival.
Sitting alone in the Tokyo airport. When we broke through the clouds and I saw land, it looked so different from what I had expected. From the little I’ve been told of this place I was imagining infrastructure as far as the eye could see. Zero land, zero space. But I was so wrong. There are the same patchwork squares of land joining together into the quilt that is Japan. Not so different from home.
It hasn’t taken me long to notice how much I stick out here. The lack of foreigners isn’t bothering me so much…it’s the language barrier that is frustrating. Communication is one of my strengths, so I really hate being unable to make use of that strength now. I hate being illiterate. It’s a good thing the signs here in the Tokyo airport are bilingual. One more flight and a bus ride until I can go to sleep and dream of home.
Saga.
I made it. I’m here. Lying in my new bed (a futon), in the middle of my new room (with tatami floors). It’s much easier to believe that everything will be ok now that I’m surrounded by people who have already done it and survived. Now I know it can be done, I just have to find the courage and the creativity to do it myself.
Every few seconds the “why” demon flits in and out and my stomach turns. I have to remind myself during the seconds in between that the whole point of this experience is to TRY. Not to be guided or to depend too much on other people for direction. To learn. To experiment. To explore.
Kanpai…
Friday, June 22, 2007
fifth day of vacation, and the house swap fiasco
soooo, Friday was the last official day of my holiday, not including the weekend. I spent the morning packing for a weekend away with some girlfriends, and was picked up by Amelia and Michelle around 11:30am. We had planned a house swap which basically means that Amelia offered up her house for the weekend, in exchange for a small house up north, near a town called Kinmount. So we drove about 2.5 hours northeast of Toronto and arrived at our new "home" about mid afternoon. We met the owner, who greeted us hesitantly and indicated she had emailled Amelia that morning to cancel. Uhhhh, ok, well....Amelia explained that she hadn't received the email, and well, here we are, and two more are on their way. The owner tried to be gracious, but she made it clear that she was unable to go to Toronto for the weekend, but she indicated she did have another place to stay so she was in the midst of packing up her car with things she needed for the weekend. She told us not to use the phone, computer or woodburning stove. She indicated there would be a real estate showing the next day at 1pm. She asked us not to tell the real estate agent if we notice anything not working in the house. Hmmmm. We were starting to wonder where this was all going. She packed up her car while we took the canoe down to the nearby river, and then went for groceries. We came home to a note that basically said, sorry, but you can only stay for one night. This, after lots of drama getting 5 bikes onto 2 cars and coordinating 5 crazy women's schedules. Sigh. Needless to say we were annoyed and disappointed. The worst part is that she popped back in awhile later and non-chalantly asked if we'd seen her note. Uhh, yes, we saw it, thanks..........ARGHHHHHHHHH!!
Anyway, suffice it to say that Amelia rocks because she managed to work some family connections and found us a way better cabin on a lake about 30 minutes away that was available on the Saturday night. So we stayed in crazy lady's house Friday night but packed up and moved out first thing Saturday morning. We ended up really enjoying our stay on Boshkung Lake instead. An adventurous end to my holiday!!
Anyway, suffice it to say that Amelia rocks because she managed to work some family connections and found us a way better cabin on a lake about 30 minutes away that was available on the Saturday night. So we stayed in crazy lady's house Friday night but packed up and moved out first thing Saturday morning. We ended up really enjoying our stay on Boshkung Lake instead. An adventurous end to my holiday!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
fourth day of vacation, and my favourite muffins
today i stuck close to home. made a batch of vegan muffins, so thought i'd share the recipe.
Anything Goes Fruit Filled Muffins
from How it all Vegan
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup sweetener
egg replacer (for 2 eggs) - I use 3 tbsp of apple sauce per egg needed
1/4 cup oil - I use sunflower
3/4 cup sour soy milk - just add 1 tsp of vinegar to the soy milk and stir
1 1/2 cups of fresh or frozen fruit
Preheat oven to 350F.
Stir together first 3 ingredients.
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix.
Bake 35-45 minutes.
Makes 6 large muffins.
Enjoy!!
Anything Goes Fruit Filled Muffins
from How it all Vegan
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup sweetener
egg replacer (for 2 eggs) - I use 3 tbsp of apple sauce per egg needed
1/4 cup oil - I use sunflower
3/4 cup sour soy milk - just add 1 tsp of vinegar to the soy milk and stir
1 1/2 cups of fresh or frozen fruit
Preheat oven to 350F.
Stir together first 3 ingredients.
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix.
Bake 35-45 minutes.
Makes 6 large muffins.
Enjoy!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Third day of vacation
Well, for someone who had no specific plans on how to spend her holiday, I've been keeping pretty busy! Today was a beautiful day, a bit windy this morning, and a cooler temperature, but blue skies and sunshine. I went off in search of a book binder to repair an old Dutch-English Bible that belonged to my grandfather (Paake) and was passed down to my dad (this is a secret project I'm working on so don't tell my dad). I found Don Taylor Book Binder at John and Queen. Had quite an adventure getting up to the 5th floor though - it was a really old building beside Urbane Cyclist. My favourite part was the tiny (maximum 2 people) elevator with an old-fashioned gate. Very rickety. Very fun. Anyway, I survived that errand and then went on up through Kensington Market, hoping to check out Left Feet - a vegan shoe and belt store. They were closed. I ventured a guess that perhaps someone needed a break to smoke a doobie? Continued from there up into the Annex and over to Little Korea to stop in at Mark and Danielle's house. I needed to borrow some computer contraband.... Then a quick stop at Kensington Kitchen to pick up some amazing takeout chickpea and lentil soup. And over to Crystal's Craven Castle to enjoy said soup with her who was feeling lousy today. Hope the protein helped you out Penner! I also took a moment to plant a cutting of my dad's lilac tree in Crystal's backyard. No rest for the weary! On the way home I stopped at my favourite Pulp Kitchen for a juice and cookies to go, and stopped in the nearby park to read, enjoy my snack, and bask in the sunshine. Then home to play around with aforementioned computer contraband, as well as figuring out how to make my email work. Success all around, but not without some good old fashioned swear words here and there!! All in all, a great third day of vacation!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Second day of vacation
So I've spent most of today as follows:
1) rearranging my living room
2) playing with my new computer and printer, yay.
3) waiting for the rain. Judging from how dark it has suddenly become in my apartment, and how the trees out my window are blowing around, i think it's just about to start.
PS. And now that it has started, I've discovered a leak in the kitchen ceiling!!!
1) rearranging my living room
2) playing with my new computer and printer, yay.
3) waiting for the rain. Judging from how dark it has suddenly become in my apartment, and how the trees out my window are blowing around, i think it's just about to start.
PS. And now that it has started, I've discovered a leak in the kitchen ceiling!!!
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